There are a lot of blogs I wish existed. Some from real people, some fictional, some borderline. I hope the world takes notice and gets cracking on starting these blogs.
9. Jack Bauer From 24
The only thing more badass than Jack Bauer would be Jack Bauer’s blog.
Wednesday, 2:00pm – 3:00pm. Diffused nuclear bomb, phew. Can’t post much right now, just strangled a hostile using a towel. Cloe took forever sending the vectors to my PDA, lol. Brb, gotta go kill President Logan again.
Unfortunately, all we have in the meantime is Dave Barry’s hilarious 24 blog.
8. Alan Greenspan
Imagine all the feuds in the finance blogosphere that would end instantly if Alan Greenspan put the smackdown in a comment post. I wonder what comments he would leave on this blog since I repeatedly blamed Greenspan for creating the real estate bubble.
7. The Dalai Lama
The Dalai Lama is the 14th incarnation of Avalokitesvara, the Buddha of Compassion. I have fun picturing him as a take-no-prisoners SEO fanatic, driving up SERP results with phony Squidoo lenses and comment spam-bots. I’m picturing blog posts along the lines of “The 8-Fold Path to Creating Linkbacks,” or “The Five Pillars of Gaming Digg.”
6. Kobe Bryant
When the Lakers screw up, you want to place your comments somewhere where Kobe will take notice.
5. Captain Kirk
This has to exist somewhere. Picture it:
Captain’s Blog, Stardate, 0303.07.
I think Mr. Sulu made a pass at me today…
In the meantime, we will just have to make do with Darth Vader’s blog.
4. Paris Hilton
It’s more that I wish she was on Flickr, so I could make her my Flickr friend. Would be curious to see the kind of parties she goes to.
3. Gandolf from Lord of the Rings
This is another blog I would definitely check out. I picture Gandolf as being really into Linux and opensource; constantly blogging about Sourceforge and Slashdot threads. He’d spend a ton of time in Wikipedia IRC chat rooms and sell World of Warcraft Gold to MMORPG Noobs.
2. Mike Tyson
If anyone’s ever needed a blog, it’s Mike Tyson. Jason Calacanis may have three of the Ten Great Blogger Tantrums, but he’s got nothing on Mike Tyson. Mike, please start a blog.
Warning: Lots and lots of Mike Tyson profanity.
1. Kim Jong Il
Sometimes I wonder, if I starved and tortured millions of people, what would my Technorati rank be? Generally speaking, I’m not a fan of murderous dictators. But if Kim Jong Il allowed internet into North Korea and started a blog, he would go immediately into my daily feed read. That’s a promise.
After all, we’re talking about a man who wears platform shoes, spends $700,000 a year on Hennessey Cognac, weaves blankets of extraordinary quality, and scored 5 hole-in-one’s on his first game of golf (source: Wikipedia). That’s the kind of guy who writes a blog I want to read! Kim Jong Il, the internet has spoken. We want your blog!